All the Feels

It’s Labor Day or just Monday here in Panama. I hear we are having some much needed rain at home. We may be getting it here soon! We are sitting out by the pool under some seriously threatening clouds. We just got back from taking Caroline to the airport. She is boarding the plane as I type. I kept it together; no tears! We hated that she had to go home but duty (school) calls! We enjoyed a few days together seeing a few sights and eating our way around the city!

This experience is becoming more and more real by the minute. First appointment is tomorrow at 9:00! A lot of people have arrived at the hotel in the last few days. All of them are seeking the same thing we are. A miracle. We’ve seen people with spinal cord injuries, MS, children with severe autism and cerebral palsy just to name a few. It’s heartbreaking. Emotional. Stephen looks good compared to some. But we all want for things to get better. Is that bad? Everyone’s struggles are different and it’s hard to put it in perspective. All these families want to see their loved ones better – whatever that means for them.

So I didn’t cry leaving Caroline at the airport but I can’t stop my tears as I’m writing this (out by the pool behind my sunglasses while Stephen is next to me reading TxAgs). So many emotions. So many fears and hopes. These feeling have completely caught me off guard. I think it’s seeing these parents with their kids and knowing the hope they are all feeling is real and HUGE! Praying for ALL these people and Stephen too and just feeling blessed to be here.


8 thoughts on “All the Feels

  1. happy healing prayers for y’alls whole journey❣ hang tough & welcome the experience 💛 totally believe better things are coming

  2. Been praying for you both and for Caroline as she is back at school. May God show up and show off with a miracle for you and all the other families who arrived expecting to see God’s presence in the face of medical miracles. You two are amazing. Your writing is beautiful and I love how hard you both are fighting for his healing.

  3. I am so proud of my cousins! You’ve done an amazing job with this Amy and I know it is difficult. I tried a blog for while with Dillon and it became too much for me to keep up with. I know we all appreciate the information though and knowing how Stephen is doing. Like you said, when people ask, the answer is usually just “fine”, or “ok” only because you don’t have time to really go into all the details of everything. I am proud of Stephen also for his fight. I have always noticed exactly what you have described here, how he never utters a complaint and seems to always be in a good mood. I know I couldn’t do it, I’ve always been so impressed with that. He has a ton of courage and he’s a tough son-of-a-gun. We deal with lots of similar issues when travelling as you guys if we are taking Dillon somewhere with us so I know what you mean in that regard. Please don’t ever hesitate to ask us for help if there is anything we can do, please. Except riding the bike again. We can donate, but I can’t sit on that tiny seat anymore. I’ve outgrown it ok…let’s just put it that way. We love you guys and are praying for all of you, Keep your head up! Love Cousin Chris

    1. Cuz!!!! Love you so much. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I know you understand. Promise….won’t ask you to ride again! I get it! Lots of love! xoxo

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